I broke a thousand words yesterday, but not without quite a bit of serious wheel-spinning first. If I were to include all the words that I wrote trying to figure out what I needed to write, I’d easily double that word count.

My problem, I realized eventually, was that I was in the wrong point of view. My Saturday words (which I still love) were in Natalya’s point of view, but since she can basically see a bit of gravel and some night sky at the moment, I needed to be looking through someone else’s eyes. I thought that would be Rose. But Rose didn’t have anything to do in the scene, no action, no agency. Eventually I realized something that I keep needing to rediscover–scenes in which the point-of-view character is simply an observer don’t work for me. I wish I could remember that before I start writing.

I think for my next novel I might really try writing a scene map ahead of time — not just an outline, but a detailed plan where every scene has a goal and a purpose, and I know where my highs and lows will be. With my usual writing style, I know where a story begins, where it ends, and a few scenes in the middle, but weaving those pieces together takes words. I’ve sort of thought that if I had it all mapped out, the actual writing would bore me–I love the little surprises along the way, the discoveries that circle back to previous moments, and so on–but it might be worth trying just to find out. I’ve wasted a lot of time on this project with words and scenes that went nowhere. I’m a little afraid that when I start editing, I’ll feel that way about more of them than I even realize now. But that’s for worrying about sometime in December.

Goal today: 1000 words.

Yesterday’s word count: 800 of the precious little wiggly monsters.

*Pauses for round of applause.*

*Then admits sheepishly that the final 20 or so are ridiculous, added only because I really wanted to hit the magic zero-zero spot.*

First act of today will be to delete the last couple of sentences I wrote yesterday and head in a new direction.

I’ve also somehow picked up 2 new followers on fictionpress, which is really nice. I know lots of people don’t want anyone to read their work until it’s final and polished and as perfect as can be, but I like having people reading my drafts. It motivates me. As far as I can tell, no one is a harsher critic of my writing than I am (except maybe the mysterious Elizabeth who gave Ghosts a 1-star rating on Amazon with an eye-rolling-ly ridiculous review). For me, knowing that readers want to keep reading is a huge help in keeping me writing instead of spinning in circles.

So today’s goals: well, laundry and vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen and exercising the dogs and along the way, 1000 words. I am neither optimistic nor pessimistic. Yesterday was better than I expected it to be, but with the exception of about a paragraph or two, I’m flying blind on this chapter. I know where I want the characters to be and what I want them to know at the end of the chapter, but I don’t really know what they’re doing in the middle of the chapter. Off I go to explore with them!

Anyone else care to check in?

I managed just under 1100 words yesterday. That might please me more if it hadn’t literally taken all day long and well into the evening. It was one sentence, wander away, one more sentence, wander away, and on and on and on.

I have a character who has lost her purpose. I’m not entirely sure what she should be doing right now. She’s not sure, either. The last time she showed up she was fluttering around like a helpless moth. I have another character who is also unfortunately helpless, because injured. I need to get him healed up so that he can run away from danger, because my heroine has made it clear that she’s not about to leave him behind. I think I need to write a scene of absolute chaos to tie up all my loose ends and chaos is so hard to write. Nice quiet conversations are so much easier.

Still, I met yesterday’s goal, so yay. Today’s goal–the same. 1000 words. Plus a hope that I’m not still writing late into the evening.

Anyone else want to check in? How are your goals coming along?

So yesterday didn’t start off great. I was extremely pessimistic about what I was going to accomplish. It felt like the kind of day where getting out from under the covers is too much effort. I knew–for sure–that I wasn’t going to make it to yoga. Juggling three dogs, one of whom is not being very nice to the others, felt like plenty of exercise. But somewhere around 9, I found myself taking a shower and getting into workout clothes and somewhere around 10:30, there I was leaving the house, having already edited some and started writing. Came home, did a little more revising and a little more writing, took the dog to the vet, came home with three different medications for her (poor Zelda, no wonder she’s cranky), did a little more revising and a little more writing, and by 6 or so (time to walk the dogs yet again!), I’d posted a 2000 word chapter and started the next one. It felt like a quite productive day, unexpectedly so, and I credit the yoga. Getting out of the house to go felt like an achievement, the kind that makes you think, ‘well, I did that, I bet I could do the next thing, too’.

In terms of total new word count, it was probably only 800 words at most. But I tweaked a lot of what I’d written in the two previous days, so it felt like more, and I was pleased with both the words of what I’d written and the direction in which the scene had gone. Sometimes I get to a scene where I know how it starts and I know how it ends, but the middle is a mystery. Often those can be where I get stuck for a while, try out different things, spend a lot of time thinking about what my character would do and whether this character is exactly like some previous character I’ve written and so on. But yesterday, I just knew that Natalya had a streak of devious in her that none of my other characters have ever developed, and she ran with it.

I’d post a favorite line, but there isn’t one that works well out of context. Maybe it’s “The gun in Thompson’s hand looked much too familiar.” ? My poor heroine is spending a lot of time with guns pointed at her. Pretty soon they’ll start going off. 

So today, some errands to run, some dogs to take care of, some words to write. Ooh, and at some point, some Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to watch!

Yesterday’s word count: 0

I did open the file and look at it for a while, so it’s not as if I totally took the day off. But I couldn’t bring myself to add any sentences. I realized that, at least a little, I’m intimidated by my own goals. I have all these great images in my head–the dark night, the starry sky, the spooky house, the sound and smell and results of shots fired, the passionate conversations–and I’m afraid that I can’t do them justice. I’m worried that it’ll be dull on the page or tangled up with implausibility and that I have so many characters running in and out that no one will be able to keep track of them, including me. That my villain won’t be terrifying in the moments that he should be and that the curtain will be pulled back too soon (maybe already has been) on his Great-and-Powerful Oz quality. So many things to be afraid of.

But today I’m going to keep swimming anyway. 1000 words. That’s the goal.

1622 words yesterday.

My favorite lines of the day:

She felt like a deer trapped in the headlights. She didn’t want to be an armadillo, though—jumping up to avoid danger only to crash straight into the bumper of the car that would have passed over her if she’d only crouched in stillness.

They might get revised during editing. The first line is a cliche, of course, which might bother me later. In one of my revision passes, I usually highlight all the cliches I’ve used while writing fast and decide if and how to change them. But the cliche might be necessary to make the whole thing work. So it might get changed, but it might not, too. They’re still my favorite lines from yesterday.

Today, unfortunately, is not going to be so productive, because I’m starting later than usual–I haven’t even walked the dogs yet, poor guys–and I’ve got afternoon plans. Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival, so yay, fun afternoon plans, but boo, not so great for writing. If I knew exactly what happened next I could probably get 1000 words in, but I don’t. I suspect today will be a swimming in circles sort of writing morning. No worries — I’ve got 26 days left in October to meet my goal, and I don’t think I have 26,000 words left to write. I’m closing in on my climax.

Yesterday’s words flowed like crunchy peanut butter, which is to say, not at all and with lots of bumps and sticky ickiness. (I don’t like peanut butter.)

End of the day, however, 1439 of them, not including all the ones I deleted along the way.

Today is the first day of October and I’ve decided that my goal is to finish writing the first draft of A Gift of Time by the end of October, Halloween. I’m at a little more than 50K words, many of them already much revised, so it’s a goal that’s definitely achievable.

Back in therapy school, I learned about SMART goals: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and … T, what did that T stand for? Oh, right, time-bound. (Although in looking that up, I’ve discovered that the R actually stands for relevant, which doesn’t work so well for me, so I shall ignore that detail.) So my smart goal: a first draft by the end of October.

And my short-term smart goal: 1000 words today. Now off to do it!

1192 words today. I feel…well, triumphant, actually. Except that I think I’m going to need to find a doctor to be a beta reader to tell me how far off-base I actually am in some of the stuff I’m writing. Or else accept that any medical readers are going to roll their eyes and tell me that I’m an idiot.

Still, writing today was maddening and I am really pleased that I managed 1000 words. Ooh, also found a fun house plan that I’m modeling my current location on. And yeah, that took a lot of time that was probably not worth the effort, but it’s always easier for me when I have a really solid mental image of where my characters are working.