I just watched the Susan Boyle video for about the 75th time. In my defense, I’ve been quite sick, so watching the same four minutes over and over has been just about my speed. But this was the first time in a few days and it was lovely to have the same experience again, namely goose bumps and a tear or two–this, despite the absolutely horrible news coverage that has left me feeling as if I am from a different planet than the rest of the people who inhabit this world. Apparently, at least if one reads the people who write for major newspapers, the important thing about the clip is how it shows that we all judge based on appearances. What? That’s…an interesting point, of course, but who gets goose bumps from that??

There are three moments that I love in the video, that I’ve gone back to again and again. The first is when she smiles her cheeky grin. There’s a moment, right before the music starts, when she almost smirks at the audience. It’s as if she’s saying, “I know something you don’t.” Her confidence radiates. And it’s confidence despite the forgotten word, the awkward stripper’s hip roll, the skepticism she must have already seen the judges show–it’s confidence in the face of adversity and it’s thrilling.

And then there’s the moment in the song when she so gracefully hits and holds the high notes on the word “shame,” the five steps that reach the ceiling. The audience is on its feet, screaming, Amanda is on her feet, the judge to the right is laughing, and even the cynic is leaning back, smiling. It’s almost possible to feel, just from the video, the joy and the energy that is filling that room. That’s a goose-bump moment. It has nothing to do with Susan Boyle’s eyebrows: it’s about the feeling of being part of a crowd that is witnessing something miraculous. Oh, maybe part of the miracle is that a frumpy woman with funny eyebrows is creating the joy, but it’s the joy that’s amazing, not the woman singing.

Finally, I love when she finishes her song and starts walking off stage. The judges are calling her back, Simon beckoning with the patronizing single finger of a man who knows his power, and she’s just walking. She did what she came there for; she sang in front of a large audience and she made that audience rock. And now she’s done.

Now that I’ve picked three moments, I have to admit there are others. There’s how she seems so surprised, almost babbling when Amanda says yes; and there’s the almost shy kiss she blows the audience as she’s walking off stage after having pumped the air like a footballer; and there’s the lovely woman in the audience bouncing in her seat with happiness; (and I do have to wonder what it feels like for those audience members who have now been seen by something like 50 million people; it must be horrible to be one of those in the beginning whose most famous moment in life might be as an example of what not to do as an audience member.) All of which brings me to my final thought, which is that the film editor is brilliant. Yes, maybe he or she had good material to work with, but it was still an incredible job. A real person picked each of those seconds of reaction shots, each angle onstage, and he or she created a seven-minute masterpiece. Compare it to the Paul Potts video and you’ll see what I mean.

And now, having posted for the first time on months on something that is completely unrelated to saving my own memories (which is what I think this blog is for, really), I’m going to go watch it again. If I’d known that I’d watch it this many times, I would have counted because I expect someday to hit 100!

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

The key of the letter between F and H has broken on my keyboard. I’ve had a hard time with L for quite a while but in the end, I can always successfully type it. Words that include L are only minor frustrations. The same is not true for words that require…the letter between F and H.

To write becomes more of a trial when one letter is simply unavailable. Fortunately, I do have a decent vocabulary and have thus far been able to use substitutions. But my, it makes for a painful experience. I wonder if I simply hold the key down for a period of time that is more than one would naturally ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggive, if it would start workin . And sadly, the answer is no. A pity I can’t take those letters and ration them out. AR H!

It’s impossible not to wonder if someday we’ll look back and say, that was the day the world ended. Well, okay, not ended, because if it were really all over, we wouldn’t be around to be looking back. But changed. Became a dramatically different place, for now and forever.

I think I’ve felt since 9/11 that someday we would go back to normal. Whatever normal is. But I’ve definitely thought that a normal existed that was peaceful, not scary, sort of consumed by the trivial and certainly extremely comfortable.

I’m wondering whether now maybe that world is simply gone. When I visited Seattle this spring, I discovered that Jeremy was of the doomsday camp. He believes that there will come a time when guns are necessary to defend his family and maybe even that stockpiling antibiotics is a smart thing to do. I believed that we’ll figure it out; that we’re smart people who have managed to overcome adversity and cope with change again and again and again. But now I’m thinking maybe I want to buy some antibiotics and store them in the freezer. Historically speaking, empires fall. Did the Romans know it was happening when it was happening? Did they realize as their plumbing failed that maybe it was going to be gone for a lot longer than they could imagine? Did the dark ages start off slowly or all at once?

For years I’ve thought that even though my stocks have done nothing (and I do mean nothing, with a capital N), I should just be patient and wait, someday the market would start fulfilling the promises of my youth. But I’m not young anymore and I don’t have another decade to wait.

And meanwhile, of course, there’s plenty of food in the house, money to pay the rent for this month and the next, and work to do tomorrow morning and throughout the week. So maybe I’m wrong and the comfort goes on. But I’m going to try to be sure and appreciate the sunrises over the next few days.

I am completely mystified while trying to figure out how to make my twitter updates show up in this blogger blog. And it occurs to me–we got a proposal for a twitter book recently. I was skeptical. But aha! Perhaps this is why people need a twitter book. Meanwhile, I turn a tweet into a blog post just because I can. Because this is a tweet if ever I’ve written one.

Insanely frustrating day today. Microsoft Word just would NOT work. It’s so easy to start taking our tools for granted, but without a word-processor, I’m almost useless. Without email and a word-processor, I’m completely useless.

So I come online to play some nice soothing video game, and Windows wants to update, iTunes wants to update, the virus software wants to update…and I would like to scream.

Life with a Mac

I love my Mac, I really do. But it doesn’t make blogging fun. I started out using Safari. But on Safari, you get no tools–no bold, no italic–although I do think there’s a button that would let me attach an image if I ever wanted to try it.

So I decided to switch browsers. And I painfully switched to Firefox. It took a while, but when the switch was complete, I returned to the blog. And discovered that on Firefox on the Mac, the text entry box is a mess. You can’t backspace to delete, you can’t see what you’re typing. (Incidentally, it works the same way on comments on other people’s blogs. Yes, I look illiterate when I comment, so I don’t comment much!)

I tried that for a while, and gave up. Then I tried this two-browser method. I write in Safari, where I can edit. Then I close Safari and switch to Firefox where I can format. Yeah, it works. But it’s not what one would call fun.

However, I have to blog for work now, and it’s leading me to all sorts of discoveries. Like this, and that. Someday soon, I’ll discover how to add color and I will be content.

The great thing about conferences is getting totally jazzed about all of the cool things going on in the world of insert conference focus here. This year, I’ve been to Macworld, FlashForward, South by Southwest, and a small branding conference, and every time I come home totally excited to do all sorts of great new things. Then reality sets in and I start answering my email and going to meetings and taking my kiddo to school and walking the dog and generally living real life again.

It feels like a disconnect, a sad disconnect. In reality, though, it’s an opportunity. Conferences expose me to all sorts on new ideas, new technologies–I just need to savor them for what they are and what they bring to my life, but then still appreciate the day-to-day and its virtues. I know for sure that if I had a conference every week my brain would explode!

I should also look into going to some conferences that relate to my personal obsessions. IDA has a conference in November, in Indiana of all places. Not that I want to visit Indiana (in November, I’d happily go there in June) but I can only imagine how excited I would be coming out of three days spent with people whose life is about my son’s experience. That would be cool. And it might be pretty darn cool for him, too.