Meals cooked this week:
Friday (not shown): Rice bowls with eye of round, sautéed greens & peppers, tomatoes & avocado, plus chili garlic sauce.
This is more in nature of a reminder to myself than anything else. It’s almost noon and I haven’t walked the dogs or made the bed or exercised or written good words or learned anything… I haven’t even taken a shower. It’s not a good sign when I’m trying to give myself Shine for putting on pants. Go, me, I’m wearing clothing…
But, in fact, even if I’m an abysmal marketer who doesn’t know how to sell books, and even if I’m a lousy writer all out of ideas, and even if I’m a bad mom whose son doesn’t care about her, much less love her, I’m still doing a damn good job of feeding an essential worker. Go, me.
Sometimes we have to take our Shine where we can get it.
Great food shenanigans.
I think about you and R a lot and it makes me sad. I’m sure it makes you worse than sad.
At my first Techniques of Counseling class back in 2011, the teacher had us go around the room and give a single word to describe our state of mind. I chose “bereaved” (having just lost my mom) to which he replied, cautiously, something like, “That’s a very big feeling.” It’s the one I would use over sad, I think. A big feeling, it comes in waves, sometimes it knocks me to the ground and I think I’ll never manage to get back up again. But thank you for thinking of me. I wish we could be sharing a meal together!
You could be a professional chef — anytime!! Awesome dishes… and I just got home from a Mexican restaurant where I stuffed myself! LOL
Ha, probably not — I’d have to be a lot more efficient in my cooking prep! But I do eat well. Of all my life choices, learning to cook is the one that gratifies me the most on the day-to-day.
You are being too hard on yourself on all counts. I am not privy to all the details of life with R but I know from long years of witnessing your life from afar that you made sacrifices others would not have made just so he could get the specific education he needed.
And you are not a bad writer. I think you know I am a fan. Writers are by nature not good marketers. And I have endless ideas but no writer stamina to finish getting those ideas on the page. At least you have books to market.
Your cooking is amazing. Your photography is first-rate.
And these days getting out of bed at all can be a triumph for good people such as yourself.
Enjoy your day, my friend!
(Btw changed my email so this may end up in spam.)
I rescued it from the Awaiting folder! Thanks for the encouragement. It was a bad day but we all have those occasionally, right? Ups and downs, but life goes on.
Yes we do have bad days. And we need to give them voice to establish the balance of grievance and gratitude.
Glad this day seems better.