New Year’s Eve is usually the time when people look back and reflect on their past year, look forward and contemplate their next year. But three years ago today, I signed the paperwork, closing on the sale of my house, and drove off into the sunset.
If I was going to do this post justice, I’d add up the numbers: how many campgrounds, how many states, how many miles. But I’m honestly just not inspired to do that much work. Sometimes it’s fun to go through my calendar and make lists, but this past month has been filled with that kind of chore, so I’m not going to bother.
That’s a little ironic because I’ve actually been thinking about this post for months. What have I learned in three years of living in a van? What has 50,000 miles of driving taught me? But there are so many answers. Mostly that water is precious and that I really don’t like driving very much. I still miss my house sometimes, although not nearly as much as I miss Bartleby, and I still worry about the future more than I should.
Before I decided that I wasn’t going to make lists, I opened up my photos app to look at pictures. I was thinking that this past year wasn’t as busy as the previous two, that I did more adventuring in my first couple years of camping. Um, no. Not at all. Last summer was upstate New York and Vermont, followed by a delightful couple of months in Canada, then down through Maine and Massachusetts. Florida, then cross-country through Texas and New Mexico to California, and from California, a road trip to Oregon and Idaho, then north to Washington, and cross-country again. Lots of people, lots of places.
But not enough sunsets. That is, of course, not literally true — we all have exactly the same number of sunsets in a year, after all. But not enough appreciating of sunsets. When I consider the past year, especially in contrast to the previous couple, the real thing that strikes me is that I’m spending way too much time worrying about what comes next and not enough appreciating where I am.
So! Goal for year 4: more sunset pictures.
Ah yes, and remaining positive in your attitude/thoughts. I’ve been hit with the same bug — even started an autobiography! I don’t like thinking of the future when my world has been spun on its axis–with Robert’s health situation, our future is almost predestined at this point. Thus, I have to make sure to remain positive and look for ways to make life easy for him.
You also have to take care of yourself. And remember that the future is not predestined — all we really have is today. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2010. It made her miserable. She was so unhappy knowing that she was declining and how she was declining. She was 67, so she had plenty of years ahead of her. But that last year, she was healthy enough — her unhappiness was all about fear of the future. And then she went to urgent care with a stomach ache, which turned out to be pancreatic cancer, and she was gone two months later. I wish she’d eaten more ice cream, bought more flowers, gone to see more music. I did convince her to get a puppy, though! Gizmo has been a fantastic dog for my dad ever since.
Thanks for this. It helps a lot. Hugs to you.
That’s funny. I had a rather similar thought just last Friday while playing passenger while my husband drove us along a perfectly lovely drive up the 330 hwy to our little cabin in Running Springs. (San Bernardino Mountains, California) I’d caught my mind wandering in the past and then skipping on to concerns about the future, then thought, “How confusing, if, when this life is over, I have to review my mental activity rather than physical. I’ll have no idea what year it is or where I am as time & place careen all over, and the attached emotion will more often than not be concern (read, “fear”) for whether I’d done the right thing (past), or will do the right thing (future). It’s not that I’m never mindful, but I definitely need to give it much more space.
But when “traveling” is a daily mode of operation, I’m not sure YOU can be blamed for making “planning” a top priority.
Oh, what a fun thought — yeah, my brain is definitely constantly slip-sliding through time. I wish it would slide to the happy things more often, though. Especially my past thoughts always seem to focus too much on regrets instead of joys. Gotta work on that! As for planning, I’m okay with a little planning for where I’m going to camp tomorrow night, just not the obsessive thoughts about where I’m going to be in 2020 or 2021 or even 2033.