A week ago, my friend E and I impulsively decided to do the NYTimes 36 questions for intimacy together.
Wow.
I don’t know whether knowing the questions and having already formulated my answers to some of the hard ones means that I’ve spoiled it for myself for future relationships, but it’s definitely an intense experience to think through your answers to those questions with someone you trust and are willing to be vulnerable with. I think I spent the next three days in an emotional hangover. Maybe I’m still in it. But I’d trust E with my life now and would probably jump off a bridge if she told me to, so yeah, those are some good questions. It was an amazing experience.
Somewhere along the way, I decided it was finally time to get my tattoo, so Erin took me to Stigma, and Mitchell took my inarticulate imagined ideas and turned them into a most perfect reality. He was absolutely wonderful to work with. If you’re in the Orlando area and want a tattoo, I can’t recommend him highly enough. If I ever get another one — and eight days ago, I would have said no way, I’ll only ever have one tattoo, but now… well, maybe! — I will definitely go back to him. I love the tiny details, the highlights, the use of color, the art in a very small space… and it was also really nice that it didn’t hurt, didn’t get red and oozy, didn’t scab, and didn’t ever really look any different than it did on that first day.
People ask what it means and I think I need to figure out how I want to answer that question when it comes from strangers. But it’s Fen’s green ladybug and ivy leaf in the shape of a semicolon: it reminds me that I’m safe, can take care of myself, and choose to keep my story going.
I love it.
I’m not fond of tattoos, but yours fit so well. And the fact that they didn’t get all red, oozy and ugly means you found a really great tattoo artist! Fen friend forever!
I’ve spent decades thinking about getting one and what it would be. I’m glad to have finally taken the plunge and really love how it turned out. I told a friend yesterday that it makes me feel all badass and tough, and she told me it was too pretty for that, but hey, pretty is nice, too. 🙂
Love your tat. I have a horrible one that I need covered or removed.
When I take those kind of tests I always feel so fake. Not sure why. Nice that you got some more self awareness from taking the test with your friend.
It’s an intense experience, that’s for sure. I think it would only be good with someone you were really willing to be honest with and those people can be hard to find. But I think there’d be something revealing in discovering that you weren’t willing to be vulnerable with someone, too!