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~ Home of author Sarah Wynde

Category Archives: Writing

Appreciation

18 Thursday Apr 2019

Posted by wyndes in A Precarious Magic, Randomness, Writing

≈ 4 Comments

a fluffy calico cat, with narrowed golden eyes, looking annoyed at being interrupted in her sunbathing
Vivi’s narrow-eyed look. She appreciates the sun, too.

In yoga the other day, the instructor said that we were entering the season of the sun, that the rain was nearly over and we might not see it again for months. That sounded fantastic to me. Go, sun, go! Yay, sunshine! More, more, more!

But when I was walking home from class, reveling in the feeling of warmth on my face, I realized the rain is what makes me appreciate the sun. In Florida, I take the sunshine for granted. Once in a while I notice a particularly nice day, but most nice days blend together. In fact, I’m more likely to be critical of those nice days. Oh, sure, it’s pleasant enough but 78 is a little warm, isn’t it? 56 is positively frigid!

But in Arcata, 56 and sunny is charming and delightful. (So is 46 and sunny, for that matter.) I couldn’t tell you about 78 but I’m pretty sure if it came with sunny, I would find it glorious. And appreciation is — well, “good” seems far too bland, but that’s the word I want to use — appreciation is good. The act of appreciating makes life good. On a cold rainy day, appreciating the flowers brings pleasure into the day that I would have missed if I’d just walked on by those flowers. Hmm, now I want to post some flower pictures.

A pink flower, unknown variety
A random flower pic. One of the houses down the street has a fantastically overgrown garden. Right now, with multiple flowering plants almost obscuring the house and fence, it makes me think of fairy tales and portal stories.

Anyway, all that reminded me that I should appreciate the rain, too. But I’m really happy to have some sunny days. Yesterday, I was still staring at my computer at 7PM or so. I’d not come anywhere close to my Camp NaNo word count, but I also hadn’t even broken 1000 words and I was annoyed with myself. But I looked up and realized that it was a beautiful sunset and a full moon, so instead of continuing to stare at the computer, I took the dogs for a walk and breathed in the fresh air and was thankful for my life.

Ten more days to make real progress on Fen and then I’m going to Idaho. I know already that I can make all the promises in the world to myself about how I will write while I’m on the road and none of them will come true: traveling is simply not conducive to writing fiction for me. I can’t live in my imagination when the real world demands so much attention. But Val Kyr is shaping up to be an interesting place — if creepy — so I’m going to make the most of my time there for now.

A snippet:

Scattered lights didn’t penetrate the dark corners of the streets and the smoke hanging heavy in the air felt oppressive, but something about the city felt unreal, like a dream landscape. It wasn’t until they were walking alongside a canal and passed an empty flat boat gliding along the water that Fen realized it was the silence. There were no motors, of course — no cars, no trains, no trucks beeping as they backed up or electric hums from power lines — but there was also no music, none of the bells or splashing water or friendly cacophony of Syl Var. 

“Is it always like this?” Luke asked Kaio, his tone muted as if he were reluctant to break the hush. 

“Not always, no,” Kaio answered but he didn’t elucidate. 

Fen wished he would. Maybe this was the Val Kyr equivalent of a Sunday morning? Even downtown Chicago felt oddly empty when the 9-5 workers had gone home. Or maybe Val Kyr, unlike Syl Var, lived on the same type of circadian time as human beings and it really was the middle of the night. Maybe in a few hours, the city would wake up — there’d be pastries baking and chickens crowing and the Val Kyrian equivalent of a newspaper delivery boy tossing the daily paper on people’s doorsteps. 

The thought was encouraging, even though Fen was pretty sure Val Kyr wasn’t going to have any equivalent of a newspaper delivery boy. If they needed to distribute the news, they’d probably have little birds flying around warbling their messages. 

Rough draft, of course; not edited; going to change before the final version. Maybe even going to change in the next twenty minutes — those last couple paragraphs are rough. But that’s where I’m living today!

Persistence

11 Thursday Apr 2019

Posted by wyndes in Writing

≈ 6 Comments

You might recall a post titled, “A Cat Conversation in Five Parts” from a few weeks back. An essential element of the character motivation in that dialogue was that Gina, the orange cat, was freaked out by the mere presence of a strange human being and a strange dog on her front porch.

Gina is no longer freaked out.

a cat in the front seat
Gina, exploring the front seat of the van.

I heard a sound and looked up from my computer to discover Gina exploring the van. I apologized to her, but I’m allergic to cats, so I escorted her out. Politely, of course.

Five minutes later, I heard another sound. I looked up to discover…

A cat tail entering the bathroom
Gina, exploring the bathroom.

… a tail, entering my bathroom. I laughed, but again, escorted Gina to the door. This time I gave her a small lecture: we have no food for cats, we have no cat toys, and you would be competing for napping space with a dog you don’t like in a place that belongs to her. So sorry, oh cat, but this is not your place.

I’m sure if you own a cat, you know how this story goes.

A cat, investigating the bed
Gina, again in the van.
A cat, making herself comfortable next to me.
Gina, making herself at home on the seat next to me.

I have several other pictures, too, but the internet is slow today and I should be writing a book. It turned out that Gina’s persistence in entering the van outweighed my persistence in removing her from the van. Fortunately for the sake of my allergies, I’m the one with the opposable thumbs and after the fifth time or so removing her, I closed the door and turned on the fan. Win for the human being. This morning Tank — the big black cat — entered the van and I knew that I wasn’t going to win. If Tank wants to take over my van, I’m probably just going to have to move out. Fortunately, he checked it out, then decided it was not satisfying and exited. Whew.

In writing news, Fen is being a little too clever, which I think is good news? But I was setting something up and she refused to play along, so now I’m needing to do some re-thinking. Fortunately, I’ve got options. It feels like the story has loads of possible directions in which to go, so I’m just seeing where the current takes me.

At the same time, I’m doing a thing that once upon a time I swore I would never do: I’m making major revisions to A Lonely Magic. I have very mixed feelings about this. Part of me believes — sorta strongly — that a book once published should exist as it is, that it isn’t fair to the reader to make dramatic changes. Minor edits, okay, but a book shouldn’t be in flux after it’s out in the world. But… well, I guess I’ve changed my mind? There are things I know I would do differently now and fixing them was an itch I just couldn’t stop myself from scratching. I started revising with the idea that I was just doing it for me, just to satisfy myself… and now I know that no, once I finish these edits, I’ll be re-publishing.

The overall story won’t change, of course, since that would be an entirely different book, but it’ll be tweaked some. A fun bit of serendipity is that I’ve been debating this for weeks now, got thoroughly into my revisions this week, but was still questioning myself. Last night, I got an email from ProWriting Aid that talked about writing lessons learned from Hamilton, one of which was, “Don’t be afraid to change.” All right, technically it was “Don’t be afraid to change at the last minute,” but I decided to take this as the universe granting me permission to do what I want to do. I love it when the universe does that.

The cover will change, too. But that’s a longer story and one I should save for another day, when I’m not trying to write a book and when I’m ready to start trying to sell a book instead. But… nope, longer story. I’m not going to start telling it now. I will just say that the new cover of A Lonely Magic gives me a little thrill of glee and the cover for the book now titled A Precarious Magic (part of that long story) makes me want to clap my hands and jump up and down with joy. I can’t wait to show them to you! Except I am going to wait, because first I have to finish writing and revising these books. Onward!

Glorious sunshine

08 Friday Mar 2019

Posted by wyndes in A Precarious Magic, Randomness

≈ 9 Comments

orange cat appreciating sunshine

My van is parked in S’s driveway, which means my view is basically of her street and sidewalk. Most of the days that I’ve been here, I’ve had a very good view of a great deal of rain. Today, however, it is gloriously sunny. Still chilly — there was frost on the ground this morning — but blue skies and sunshine. Everyone is appreciative, including the cat and all the many passersby. While I’m writing in the van, I’m an invisible audience to their interactions. It’s pretty entertaining, because wow, people are chatty with animals. A third of the population wandering by admires the cats and another third says hello to the dogs. It’s really quite charming.

Yesterday, I went to a meditation class, where the phrase that struck me, in the midst of the usual “follow your breath” and so on, was “open-hearted curiosity.” I don’t remember the context, but when I got home, I wrote it on my white board. I want to be approaching Fen with open-hearted curiosity. I want to see where the story takes me/her. So far that has not transformed into words flowing, however. I also downloaded an app to keep me off the internet, so that I would be forced to stare at my document instead of running away to read news stories and Facebook posts. My hour of internet-blocking netted me 73 words today; not a success, but I’m going to keep trying.

Also, I finally went to yoga! I am lamentably out of shape. That’s not a surprise, actually — it’s been a long time since I managed any more exercise than a short walk with the dog. But there’s not going to be any side planks in my near future. Still, yoga’s like writing — the more I do, the easier it becomes. And I know that if I go regularly (at least for the couple of months that I’m going to be in Arcata), I’ll get better. Plus, it felt great, even though I was dropping into child’s pose every other minute. I still got to have the lovely ending meditative rest. And I would look up the actual spelling of the lovely ending meditative rest, but I’ve blocked the whole rest of the internet to force myself to work. So maybe later. And meanwhile, I should get back to the working part of the day.

But, per request, a snippet of Fen:

First things first. Fen needed to call a glider. She scanned the sky, searching for a moving shadow. She didn’t see one, but she waved anyway, arm moving wide across her body, a gesture as big as she could make it. 

Then she stopped herself, feeling stupid. She’d just made herself invisible. How the hell was the glider going to spot her? 

“Elfie, can you summon a glider?” she subvocalized. 

There was a pause. Then Elfie responded, “A data access pattern should not summon a glider. It is not within the parameters of my function.” 

“Uh-huh,” Fen said, voice dry. “We’re past that now. Answering my questions is your function, right? So I’m asking a question. Can you summon a glider?” 

“I am capable of such a thing, yes.” 

“Will you?” 

There was a longer pause. Fen waited, beginning to muster her mental arguments. Gaelith had created Elfie to help Fen, Elfie was a non-traditional data access pattern for a reason, if Gaelith had intended Elfie to limit herself to merely providing information, surely she would have used a traditional design… but she didn’t need them.

“Yes,” Elfie said. 

Fen let go of the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. 

No guarantees that will make it in the final book, of course. And it’s quite random, it’s just what I was working on today, so also unedited, etc. But I will stop with the excuses, it’s a snippet!

Arcata weather

25 Monday Feb 2019

Posted by wyndes in A Precarious Magic, Randomness, Writing, Zelda

≈ 10 Comments

I was warned that Arcata, the town where I’m planning on spending the next few months, was a chilly, gray, foggy sorta place. I’m not sure any level of warning would actually have prepared me, though. In defense of my weather shock, my weather app keeps sending me warnings. Severe Weather Advisory! Area Flood Watch! Flooding rain will cause hazardous travel. Hard Freeze Warning in effect. Etc. Nine warnings over the past few days, which I think probably means that this weather is not normal, despite the cold gray reputation.

As a result, my new favorite possession is my eggplant coat, which S refers to as my “puffy.” I call it an eggplant coat because I think it makes me look like a plump eggplant, but you know what? That is just fine. I am perfectly willing to look like a plump eggplant. I’ve become so attached to this coat that I start to feel anxious when it’s out of my sight.

Yesterday, I ventured out of the van exactly twice, both times to walk Zelda, both times in the pouring rain, because it really wasn’t possible to just wait for the rain to stop. Or rather I did wait for the rain to stop and finally gave up. Fortunately, I quite like hanging out in my tiny home listening to the rain. Poor Z does not like the way I’ve been walking her, though, because I’ve been carrying her from the van to the street and back again. She thinks it’s undignified and wiggles to get down, but I think muddy dog footprints all over my beds can only happen once in a while, not twice a day, many days in a row.

In more fun news, S took me roller-skating on Saturday night. I’ve never really been a roller-skater, although I ice-skated some as a kid. I wobbled a lot and never got so comfortable that it felt like flying, the way it looked for some skaters, but I had fun. The best part was watching the other skaters, though. Roller skaters tend to crouch and lean forward, but there were a couple people skating who were probably originally ice skaters: they had great posture and a totally different way of moving. If the roller skaters looked like they were flying, the ice skaters (on roller skates) looked like they were floating. I don’t know which I’d rather do, float or fly, but it did make me want to try ice-skating again.

On the writing front, I’ve been flailing. I joined a FB group for writers of Humboldt County, hoping I might find some real-world writing partners here, to help keep me accountable and maybe meet up with me at a cafe now and again to help my motivation. I didn’t go to their Sunday meeting, though, because it was pouring. Maybe next week. Meanwhile, I added a new note to my white board: Trust the reader. I think part of why I’m flailing in Fen is that I feel like I need to explain things that you will have forgotten and remind you of things that have already gone by and anytime a writer has to “explain”, a story is stuck. Maybe Fen 2 is going to have to start with a note that says “reread the previous book” but one of my other white board notes says, “skip the boring parts, the reader will thank you,” and I am going to try very hard this week to follow that advice. Last week, I was stuck in a boring part and got nowhere, so this week I’m just going to glide right over it. Or try, anyway. I might fall flat on my face. But if I do, I will get up, dust myself off, and think about Badonald’s for later. Or maybe a nap.

Zelda on the beach
Before the rain began, we had one quick trip to the beach. Z would have stayed and played, but it was COLD! We saw the ocean, took a picture, then headed back to the warmth of the car.

Cici in Paperback on Sale

08 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by wyndes in Cici, Marketing and promotion, Self-publishing

≈ 8 Comments

Very, very, very temporarily — as in, it might just last a few hours — Cici and the Curator is on sale in paperback for $5.50. This is literally the cheapest it will ever be — I can’t set the price any lower and I earn nothing from the sale — so if you’d like a paperback copy, now is a good time to buy.

The story is: my dad and stepmom want to celebrate my book releases with a lunch-time book party. I suspect it’s Grace as much as Cici that they think deserves a celebration, because I spent a lot of time very frustrated with that book, but I find this to be a very nice idea and I want to give books to the guests. Alas, author copies take FOREVER. Seriously, two weeks before they even get shipped. And if you want them quickly, you’re going to pay an arm and a leg for shipping.

But an Amazon shopper can get her paperbacks via Prime, no shipping, and by the end of the week. Even at its absolute lowest possible price, the book is more expensive than an author copy but in the circumstances the speed and shipping costs make up for the price difference.

So I lowered the price to buy a bunch of paperbacks to give away. But if you would also like a paperback copy, it’s your chance. I’m going to set it back to $11.99 again, which is the price that earns me $1 in the extended distribution model, but the change takes 24 – 48 hours to implement.

Like I said, I earn nothing from the sale (unless you use the above link, in which case, I might earn .11 or so as an affiliate fee) but the paperbacks are quite pretty and I’d be happy to know that more of them are out there in the world!

Self-publishing Numbers: Cici

19 Wednesday Dec 2018

Posted by wyndes in Cici, Self-publishing

≈ 6 Comments

This is going to be another boring post for anyone not interested in self-publishing, but it’s the most efficient way for me to keep a record so skip it if you’re not interested. I suppose it would be more efficient of me to post it on my seldom-used business blog — which I haven’t even updated with Cici, oops — but I’d never remember to look for it there, so it goes here. 

So, I published Cici a week ago, to all the usual spots. Much though I love her, I have very low expectations for Cici. My most similar title is A Lonely Magic, which is the book that I spent the most money on by far — professional editing, professional covers, advertising on multiple sites, NetGalley membership to get reviews, etc.  and which… well, has not rewarded said expenses. ALM was the book where I tried to get serious about self-publishing and while it was an interesting experiment, being serious did not lead to success. (Grace has earned more money in its first four months than ALM has in over four years. Ouch. Sadly, this is not because Grace is making me rich.) 

Anyway, I’m sure a self-publishing guru would tell me that I need to spend money to make money, etc, but eh. Maybe someday, if I ever get a real job and have extra money floating around. Meanwhile, I would prefer to continue to eat. So I’m not spending money on Cici, much though I adore her.

My sum total of marketing dollars on Cici was $5 on a Facebook ad sent exclusively to people who have liked my page. That ad reached 161 people, had 37 engagements, and 6 clicks. So if each of those clicks led to a sale, I might have sold 6 copies because of the FB ad, therefore spending $5 to earn $15, for a profit of $10. 

I also sent out an email to people who have subscribed to my mailing list. Mailing lists are such an interesting thing: I bought a book recently about being a mailing list ninja, something like that, and apparently I should be using my mailing list to chat with readers, “engage them,” and most definitely not to simply tell them when I have something new published. Because apparently telling readers that there’s a new book is asking them for something as opposed to providing them with information that they supposedly wanted to receive? But I honestly hate email, I don’t want junk cluttering up my inbox, and I really think that if anyone actually wants to hear from me on a regular basis they could just read my blog. I view my mailing list as being the people who simply want to know about new books. But apparently not so much: of the 1415 readers who have signed up for my mailing list, 474 opened the email, and 100 clicked on the link. 14 unsubscribed. 2 reported me for spam, sigh. These are, of course, not terrible results: the industry average open rate is 17.2 and mine was 33.7 and the industry average click rate is 3.6 and mine was 7.1. So at least I’m running better than average. 

BookBub also sent out an email to my followers there, approximately 6000 some. I know they did because I follow myself and I got their email. And the chance exists that Amazon will also let people know, those who follow me on Amazon. (I just started following myself so I didn’t get anything this time but maybe I will next time.) 

So, potential marketing outreach: 1415 mailing list readers, 6000+ Bookbub followers, 500+ FB followers, 300+ Twitter followers, and the 30+ of you who read my blog.

Total sales for week one – 103: 

  • Amazon: 85
  • Barnes & Noble: 16
  • Kobo: 2
  • Draft2Digital (Apple, Scribd, Tolino, Overdrive, etc.): 0
  • Google Play: 0

I think there’s some conversion rate thing that I’m supposed to figure out — around 1% of the people reached decided to buy?  That’s probably not a bad number for professional marketers. 

Anyway, I’m really just saving this data for future reference. Cici obviously doesn’t look like my other books, so it’s no surprise that she’s a niche read. Someday I might have to separate out my identities so that people who like true fantasy, no romance involved, aren’t mixed into the audience who likes romance with a little fantasy involved. But at the moment that’s far too much work and I’d rather spend my time writing. Or doing laundry, which is what I should be doing right now! 

And meanwhile, far more importantly with Cici, I have been really delighted to hear from people who enjoyed her and loved the ending and even more delighted that no one’s spoiling it. I usually try to avoid reading reviews because they are not good for me, but I’m totally reading every Cici review that comes my way because I so enjoyed writing her and really like reading that people enjoyed reading her. 

A Happy Early Birthday to R

18 Tuesday Dec 2018

Posted by wyndes in Cici, Personal, R, Randomness, Self-publishing

≈ 7 Comments

a close-up shot of a giraffe, taken at Animal Kingdom
This photo has not been cropped. It just got cut-off because the giraffe was too close to fit in the frame of the picture. 

There is a new ride at Animal Kingdom, in a new area of the park based on the movie Avatar. It is, apparently, the best ride in the world, the best ride that ever there was, and so, for his birthday, I took R and his girlfriend, M, to Animal Kingdom. 

Backing up, it’s actually really hard to buy appropriate presents for a person who’s living more or less out of a backpack. Me selling my house means that R doesn’t have a real home at all, no bedroom with a permanent closet where he can store things. He owns what he can carry with him and the more he has to carry, the more difficult that becomes. So I decided to look for an experience to give him, rather than an object to give him. Animal Kingdom was our favorite theme park when he was young, but it had been years and years since we’d gone there. It felt like a good choice.

So we were not actually at Animal Kingdom specifically to go on the world’s best ride. Which was fortunate, because although we arrived at the park a little after 8, an hour before opening, and headed straight to the world’s best ride, the line was four hours long by the time we got there at 9:05. Yes, you read that right. The resort guests are allowed into the park an hour before non-resort guests and enough of them beat us to the world’s best ride that the line was 240 minutes long. 

We didn’t wait. 

The good news was that the Avatar crowds meant the rest of the park was reasonably nice. We had a fantastic safari ride, where we got to be the people whose truck had to stop while the giraffes sauntered by, plus see all the other animals who were out and active on a chilly day; nice walks through the gorilla and tiger zones; rides on some of the other main rides, including Everest, Primeval Whirl and (for R & M) Dinosaur; and great seats at the Finding Nemo show, which is really beautiful.  And, of course, excellent company. 

At about 5, we went back to the Avatar zone and the line time had gone down to 210 minutes, so three and a half hours. We didn’t wait, but we did wander around the Avatar zone which is actually worth wandering around, too — very pretty and interestingly done. R wanted to write academic papers on the conflicts inherent in turning a movie whose overarching storyline is about kicking exploitative humans off a planet into a theme park whose goal is to attract humans to buy stuff, but figured it was fundamentally too obvious. 

The one minor bad note in an otherwise lovely day was food issues for me. I made bad choices because I was hungry and the lines were crazily long and I paid the price very promptly. Disney offers plenty of reasonable choices for people with food allergies, but it requires planning. It is not a good idea to wait until you’re already hungry and then start looking around for something to eat. I know this, but apparently I have to relearn it every so often. I’m hoping yesterday’s lesson sticks for the next few years. 

In other news, many, many thanks to people who have reviewed Cici. She is so much a book that I published because I wanted to share her, because I wanted other people to read her story and laugh with me, so I’m delighted to hear from people who have. People have asked about sequels and given how many promises I’ve broken about Grace and Fen, I’m not going to make any promises. But I will say that when I found the artwork for the cover, the artist had multiple variations, and I got all the variations. Which means that unlike A Lonely Magic, which is going to require that I find a cover to go with its sequel when I finish writing it, I will have possible cover options ready for Cici sequels whenever I feel like writing them. 🙂 

And now I think I’ll get back to writing Fen. I’m not optimistic about my productivity over the next few weeks: there will be much socializing, some urgent Christmas present shopping, some great time with family. But on the days when I have time to write, I’m going to try to write. Not because I feel the pressure of impending deadlines, but because writing Cici brought me joy and joy is an excellent thing to have more of in one’s life. May you have some as well, today and every day! 

Cici and the Curator

10 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by wyndes in NaNo, Personal, Self-publishing, Writing, Zelda

≈ 22 Comments

I’m not totally satisfied with the ending, but then, when am I ever?

But I am done and ready to move on to something else, specifically Fen. I haven’t decided what I’m doing with Cici yet. Probably publishing her, mostly because she makes me laugh. She is very much my sense of humor. I haven’t really edited or revised her at all, though, apart from a quick run through where I deleted a bunch of extra words: probably, actually, really, just, truly, simply, seriously, manage, and some.

However, I am willing to share! If you want to read a first draft, let me know in the blog comments and make sure to include your email address in the appropriate field (unless you’re positive I already know it). Also, if you want it in a format other than a Kindle file, tell me that, too.

In other than book news, there’s been lots of Christmas in my life this week. I went to the Candlelight Processional at Epcot with a friend last Wednesday, which was lovely. Neil Patrick Harris was the narrator, and the music was beautiful. On Friday, I went to another Christmas musical event at a huge Baptist church in Orlando. Very loud, very majestic. When they burst into “Joy to the World,” it was glorious. On Sunday, I saw my third Christmas musical at the Methodist church in Mount Dora. I should be thoroughly in the Christmas mood by now.

I’m not really, though. Partly, I’ve been obsessed with Cici. And partly, Zelda is reminding me on a daily basis that we’re running out of time. Grown-up Me knows that means I need to be sure to appreciate every day: Kid Me would really prefer to stop time right now. I know I claimed to have a ZLSP (Zelda Loss Survival Plan) in development, but… well, I think the ZLSP starts with a broken heart, no matter how good it is.

But today is what it is, and what it is, is the 7th anniversary of the publication of A Gift of Ghosts! Hmm, that almost tempts me to just put Cici up on Amazon. I was so much more relaxed seven years ago. My plan back then was to write a million words and then consider whether really I wanted to be a writer. By now, I’m supposed to be hard at work as a therapist. Ha.

I have no idea how close I am to my million words, although Grace was probably half a million all by herself. Those wouldn’t count, though, because it had to be a million words I was willing to share. But the short stories up in the Scribbles section would count. I should add them up and see how close I am.

I’m not actually sure I need to, though. Post-Grace, I could definitely see giving up on being a writer. Post-Cici, I know that I am a writer, whether I’m earning my living at it or no. It might be a terrible job, but it’s not a hobby I ever want to give up, because when it’s fun, it’s really, really fun. Regardless of whether Cici ever earns a dollar (and obviously, she will, because my dad would always be willing to buy her!), she was a delight to write.

Best of November 2018/NaNo Win

30 Friday Nov 2018

Posted by wyndes in Best of, NaNo, Writing

≈ 8 Comments

NaNo-2018-Winner-Badge

I bought myself the t-shirt. No, really! There’s a winner’s t-shirt that falls squarely into the category of “Things I Don’t Buy,” because why spend $20 on a t-shirt when any Goodwill store is filled with dozens that would cost $3? But I did buy it, because when I copied the text into the validator and got my little winner’s badge, I felt pretty proud of myself. A t-shirt felt like the least I deserved.

Also, as t-shirts go, I thought that this one might open me up to interesting conversations. One of the things that I’ve discovered in my travels is that certain t-shirts simply invite interactions with strangers. Fair warning: do not ever wear an Ohio State Buckeyes t-shirt unless you really want to chat with people about football. Ohio State fans are serious! Possibly the same would be true of any football shirt, but the only one I’ve ever worn is from Ohio, so I can only attest to the Ohio fans.

Moving on: the good news is that I wrote 50K words in a month, about which I have Thoughts. It got hard. It got really hard. It started feeling filled with things I had to do (like find an ending); mistakes I had made (a whole pointless middle section that is complicated and contradictory); and duplications of things I had already said. The urge to edit was, at times, irresistible. And I did not entirely succeed in resisting it.

I had some particularly bad days right around Thanksgiving, including one where I did nothing but play solitaire from early morning until the middle of the night. It was like binge-eating, where you know you ought to stop, you know you’re not making healthy choices, and yet you just keep going. I kept looking at the file for 30 seconds and then opening solitaire again. Again and again and again. It was not a good day.

But I definitely had more fun writing, more joy in the (ridiculous, absurd) story, than I’ve had in years. And while it’s true that writing is work and all jobs have hard parts (as Patricia Wrede says, “The only thing one can do about it is slog through the sloggy bits“), it was a lot more fun to write without caring if anyone would ever read my words. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not going to share — honestly, Cici is a riot, she makes me laugh and she absolutely fulfills my once-stated writing goal of simply letting other people share my daydreams — but I do think I should get myself a real job so that I don’t have to care when Cici only earns $50/month. (That’s how much A Lonely Magic has averaged over its lifetime. Not exactly a number that supports a food-eating habit, much less a roof-using, shower-taking, aging-dog-caretaking habit!)

That real job, however, is not going to happen until I do a few more things I have planned, like head to California and spend some time with my friend S, visit my friend P in Seattle for her birthday next May, spend one more summer eating blueberries at my brother’s house, and write the sequel to A Lonely Magic. Eventually, though, real job. On my list.

Meanwhile, though, the best of November. Honestly, what happened to this month? It zoomed by at the speed of light, or perhaps of an interstellar space craft complete with wine bar. Thanksgiving was super nice: I cooked, so I got to have gluten-free pumpkin pie and it was delicious. I got to see several friends, stayed in four different driveways and one state park, plus spent the past week house-sitting. In a real house. With a bathtub. I haven’t taken nearly as much advantage of the kitchen as I thought I would (apart from cooking Thanksgiving dinner in it) but when C gets her water bill next month, I expect it will reflect the absolutely delightful number of baths I’ve taken.

But I have to say that the best of this month didn’t take place in reality, but in the world of my imagination. The best place I visited was the Guanyasar Exhibit on Tirquilk, “one of those in-between sorts of planets.” And now — despite having reached my 50K words — I’m going to go back there, because the story is not finished, even though the month is almost gone, which means I have more words to write!

Mid-November update

20 Tuesday Nov 2018

Posted by wyndes in Boring, NaNo, Personal, Self-publishing, WIP, Writing

≈ 8 Comments

My dad called me this morning to point out that I haven’t posted to my blog in a while. (Hi, Dad!) It’s only literally been a week since my last post, but maybe it was a long week.

In my life, the week included a lot of writing, some good time with a writing friend in Merritt Island, and an unfortunate gluten-reaction. I’m assuming now that it was a gluten-reaction, because yesterday I was pretty sure I would never feel healthy again and today I feel pretty okay. The fast recovery, for me, is one of the hallmarks of a gluten response. There’s no long, lingering malaise, just a reasonably swift move from “I’m clearly seriously ill” to “hmm, I think I’m okay.”

I’m glad I got back to “I think I’m okay” today, because I decided last night that I might have to reschedule Thanksgiving, which I could obviously do — none of my guests would be heartbroken to eat their turkey on Saturday or Sunday instead of Thursday and no one is traveling long distances to join us — but still, there’s something nicer about celebrating holidays on the day when everyone else is celebrating, too.

The combination of being sick and hitting the murky middle of Cici was not particularly good (nor tremendously bad) for my writing goals. Cici is currently floundering around in a spaceship, contemplating her life and ethical choices. I suspect that if I ever decide to let some beta readers have at her, the honest responses will range from “it drags a bit in the middle” to “it gets really boring at about 35K words.” Fortunately, it’s NaNo and I don’t need to care about that — all I need to do is keep pouring words out onto the page and hit that end-of-the-month writing goal.

After that, I can think about what comes next for Cici, whether she gets shared with a few friends or revised mercilessly or stuck in a random folder on my computer, to languish unseen. Or, possibly, sent off as-is (more or less) to drift unnoticed on the sea of casually self-published books available on Amazon. She’s not in a genre likely to sell much, so it doesn’t make any practical sense to spend months polishing. Plus, I’ve got other impractical promises to keep regarding my time, notably for poor Fen who has been waiting years for her turn on the screen. But Cici has some very entertaining moments, at least to me. It’s been lovely to be flat-out amusing myself with my words and not worrying about anything else.

Another snippet:

She screwed up her face, wrinkling her nose. Her mouth felt weird. Her lips, in particular. She tapped them with her fingers.

Yep, weird.

She tapped her cheek. Also weird.

“Was that drink poisonous?” she asked.

Huh, those words had popped right out, too.

“The algaro? No.” Seven returned to his chair and frowned at her. The other two were doing something with the trough and the dogs were doing something, too — eating, probably. Cici hoped they weren’t eating the people. But she couldn’t hear any screaming, so they were probably fine. Her eyes didn’t want to focus and it was taking all her concentration to keep Sevyn in sight.

“Feels like poison,” she said. She didn’t feel particularly emotional about it. She would have thought that being poisoned would be upsetting, but she didn’t feel upset. She felt quite tranquil, really. But maybe that was a side effect of the poison.

“It is not poison.”

“Alcohol is poison, though.” Cici tapped her other cheek. Did they feel different, her two cheeks? Was one more numb than the other? She tried the first one again. No, they were about the same. Both feeling very weird.

“Algaro is fermented blood. The level of alcohol in it is very minor.”

Cici stopped tapping her cheeks and replayed his words in her head. Fermented blood. Fermented…

“Ew!” She jumped to her feet in protest and nearly fell over. Her feet were numb, too. “Fermented blood? Why would you feed me that? That’s disgusting!”

“It is an honor offered only to Players.” Sevyn put his hand out as if to steady her, but Cici batted it away.

Blood-drinkers.

They were blood-drinkers.

There ought to be a name for that. A disgusting name. A name that implied horrible things.
A name that revealed them for the monsters that they were.

“Mosquitoes,” she spat out. “You people are mosquitoes.”


Yep, I make myself laugh. 🙂

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