The good news: I have written words on Grace. Progress! And after spending a couple of days mostly saying things like, “I hate this book, this book is so stupid, I hate this book,” last night I re-read some of the earlier chapters, trying to find a detail I needed, and it made me laugh. I actually made my friend L (whose driveway has been my home for the past couple of days) listen to me read bits aloud. She didn’t laugh, but that was okay, because I was mostly interrupting her in her own writing. And my own laughing is sufficient motivation to continue writing today. Someday I really am going to finish this book. I will probably hate it and think it’s stupid, but at least it has parts that are fun. That’s going to have to be good enough, I think.
The bad news: Z and I will be going back to the vet tomorrow afternoon. She’s now drinking lots of water while turning up her nose at most food, including plain chicken breast and ground beef with sweet potatoes, and she threw up her pills this morning, so… well, I guess the good news is that it looks less like dementia. And more like kidney failure, so it’s not exactly what you would call good news. I feel a little sorry for my vet, who spent hours valiantly trying to save B three months ago, including taking her turns holding an oxygen mask over his face while he snuggled in her lap. I know she doesn’t want to give me bad news anymore than I want to hear it. But we’re probably going to try some antibiotics, so maybe Z will be feeling much better soon. Fingers crossed, prayers said. And thank you for all the sympathy and good wishes — I so appreciate them.
Back to Grace. Not sure the LZSP strategy of trying to focus on work is really working out — I seem to spend a lot of time staring into space — but word-by-word, I will finish this book.