I ate bacon & eggs for breakfast, followed by all the gluten-free chocolate in the house. That was probably a mistake. My logic was that I ought to get rid of it and I was never going to have the willpower to throw it out, so I might as well just finish it off quickly, but I actually do feel queasy now. For the last four days, though, I’ve been using Halloween as an excuse to eat stuff I shouldn’t eat — rice and potato starch, sugar and eggs, milk and delicious, delicious pumpkin spice lattes. At least being done with the chocolate means I won’t have temptation lurking in my kitchen anymore. I might decide to have one more pumpkin spice latte, later, just because if I’m already in the midst of a food reaction, I might as well enjoy my suffering. That is, of course, the reason I’ll spend the next five days feeling crappy, but done is done.

I felt really sad this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever spent Halloween alone before. It’s not as if its a particularly special holiday but there are times when I notice my solitude more than others and yesterday was definitely a peak solitude day. Not helped by the fact that my words weren’t going well. In the early morning, still half asleep, I finally figured out that I should draft out everything that I need to have take place in the conversation I’m writing and then organize it and then write it, because everything I wrote yesterday was just a chaotic mess. I did that first thing this morning, then started writing again, and if I don’t worry about the fact that I deleted a bunch of yesterday’s words, then I was at 400 words written today before 7AM. Except 7AM was actually 6AM, and it turned out that I was up obsessing at 4:30 instead of 5:30, and I’m not sure why that’s so much worse, but it is.

I am taking NaNoWriMo as permission to write run-on sentences apparently.

Word count for the day, as of this moment, including blog post, organizational materials, and actual story: 1136. I should view this as a great start, but it’s not yet 10AM and all I really want is to go back to bed. Apparently the caffeine from all that chocolate is not enough to keep me awake.