I ate bacon & eggs for breakfast, followed by all the gluten-free chocolate in the house. That was probably a mistake. My logic was that I ought to get rid of it and I was never going to have the willpower to throw it out, so I might as well just finish it off quickly, but I actually do feel queasy now. For the last four days, though, I’ve been using Halloween as an excuse to eat stuff I shouldn’t eat — rice and potato starch, sugar and eggs, milk and delicious, delicious pumpkin spice lattes. At least being done with the chocolate means I won’t have temptation lurking in my kitchen anymore. I might decide to have one more pumpkin spice latte, later, just because if I’m already in the midst of a food reaction, I might as well enjoy my suffering. That is, of course, the reason I’ll spend the next five days feeling crappy, but done is done.
I felt really sad this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever spent Halloween alone before. It’s not as if its a particularly special holiday but there are times when I notice my solitude more than others and yesterday was definitely a peak solitude day. Not helped by the fact that my words weren’t going well. In the early morning, still half asleep, I finally figured out that I should draft out everything that I need to have take place in the conversation I’m writing and then organize it and then write it, because everything I wrote yesterday was just a chaotic mess. I did that first thing this morning, then started writing again, and if I don’t worry about the fact that I deleted a bunch of yesterday’s words, then I was at 400 words written today before 7AM. Except 7AM was actually 6AM, and it turned out that I was up obsessing at 4:30 instead of 5:30, and I’m not sure why that’s so much worse, but it is.
I am taking NaNoWriMo as permission to write run-on sentences apparently.
Word count for the day, as of this moment, including blog post, organizational materials, and actual story: 1136. I should view this as a great start, but it’s not yet 10AM and all I really want is to go back to bed. Apparently the caffeine from all that chocolate is not enough to keep me awake.
I am SOOO in tune with you today — I too was up at 4:00 a.m. but mine was not just the tummy upset (I only had two pieces of Halloween chocolate), but pain from my shoulder. Feeling like yuck right now — had coffee at 5 a.m. and back to bed at 6 a.m. It’s 9:42 a.m. right now and I know today is going to be rough, but we can do this! Right?? LOL Sorry you’re feeling so sad. Know that you are not alone in your misery–do take care of yourself!
Sorry to hear about your shoulder — I hope it’s feeling better today!
As you said to me, Happy NaNo Start Day 🙂
I fell you on the solitude issue. Living with others is a trial and a challenge, but it’s also rewarding, and when we’re alone we focus on that rewarding sensation.
You’re as alone as I am. We’ve both got friends on the internet, sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it isn’t. I had much the same sensation on Labor Day, and it took me by complete surprise. I had to process it for a day before I realized just why it was I felt like such crap.
Regardless, you are loved, and it’s okay to feel down.
Let’s kick NaNo’s butt together this time, yeah?
With you on the making unhealthy food choices and the loneliness thing. Not managing to write even a parallels, though. Life sucks a little at the moment.
Sorry to hear that, Judy! Maybe you should try the NaJoMo thing and blog every day this month? It might help you write out some of what’s going on. And yes, I’m apparently doing both NaJoMo and NaNoWriMo!
Good idea. Took a very long walk in the sunshine with my grandkids today. Felt better. Maybe I will start Naomi tomorrow. I took sleeping pills already. Night night.
Judy, Judy, Judy said:
lol that was supposed to be najomo not naomi