3PM and I have mostly been deciding to delete what I wrote yesterday. That’s never good. I keep walking away from the computer, feeling inspired, hurrying back and immediately losing all inspiration. Finally decided that I should write here just to get the fingers moving and see if that would help.
I’m at the end. Really, really close, and I can’t decide whether it’s a good finish or a weak one. Parts of it are good, but I may be writing beyond the real climax. I think I need to go back to that earlier climax and expand upon it somehow–I can even see how. But I don’t know what that does to the part that I’m in right now.
Also, I have to write a setting and I hate writing settings. So now I can see why I’m stuck and now I’ve also reminded myself that I should just write! No point in over-thinking this. It’s a first draft. Plenty of time for edits if it doesn’t work quite right after I’ve got the bare bones of the story down.
And I’m so seriously amused by a twist coming up–two twists!–one of which I’ve been foreshadowing from the very beginning but that I still think will surprise everyone. And until I write it I can’t know if it does!
Okay, off to get myself a drink and possibly a snack and then… the words will flow.
I am so glad that you are writing even if it is hard for you. I have once again started something that I’m just not liking. I don’t like the world I’ve built so far. And the idea of restarting is very irritating.
I ask myself what world would I like and I don’t have an answer.
I drink a cocktail and ask myself the same question and I still don’t have an answer.
I do, however, genuinely enjoy many worlds created by others. Your worlds, for example.
Am I meant to be strictly a reader?
I can’t figure out how to respond to notes on tumblr–so weird! So 1) no, what you’re reading on wattpad is a first rough edit. The part I deleted you wouldn’t have seen. On fictionpress, I’m posting the first rough draft, so people there–including Allison, who’s reading both places–are seeing slightly different material (more mistakes) than the wattpad folks.
But 2) a–there is nothing wrong with being a reader. Nothing at all. Writing is hard and often unrewarding and even more often frustrating. And yes, it’s lovely when it works. But the ratio of working to not-working is about 10% to 90%. I am honestly quite sure that if I didn’t have readers propping me up with reviews and comments and kind words, I’d throw the towel in myself and I say this as someone who’s found a TON of joy in writing. When it’s going well, it’s so great. But seriously, it’s like taking a drug that nine times out of ten gives you no buzz and a killer hangover and the tenth time is the best orgasm of your life. Smart money is on quitting.
But that said, those hangovers are never fatal. Stop trying to write for publication or for an audience. Pick a show or a book that you love. A world that someone else has created. Go read the fanfiction for it. And then write some fanfic of your own. Post it, get the feedback, do some more, enjoy the community, write 500 words a day–or ten minutes a day or 30 minutes a day–and make your goal not to get rich (because honestly, that is SO unlikely) but to bring someone else a little pleasure. And you’ll find the joy again. And your ratio might even start hitting something like 50/50. And then maybe your own worlds will start itching at you and you’ll want to write them again. But the surest path to dead writing is to be writing while worrying about trying to make it right for some invisible audience that you don’t even know. Write for fun. If there are worlds that you love, write in those worlds for the fanfic audience and love the process, forget that there’s an end goal. My .02. Worth that much, probably. But if I had a world that I loved more than my own, I’d be writing in it and applying for editing jobs!
Yeah I gave up on the writing for a publisher thing. Right now I’m just trying to create a world I enjoy writing.
I might try the fanfic thing. Thanks for the response. It was worth more than 2 cents to me.
You know who else’s world in books I love right now? Corrina Chapman baker/detective with the lovely Daniel written by Kerry Greenwood. It’s funny because it is not a world that would suit me in reality yet I could read 20 more of those books if she would write them.
I hope you continue to write Fen’s world and Tassamara cause I am enjoying both of those worlds.
ps the tumblr thing is quite frustrating because I prefer it to blogger for some reason yet I can not figure out how to do some of the most basic things there.
Ditto! I love it–it’s like having the blog & RSS feed for other people’s blogs all in one long line, with lots of the best kinds of quick and easy blog posts–but some aspects of it are mystifying. I will have to look for the Corrina Chapman books!
That is exactly what it’s like – blog and rss feed for other people’s blog in one.