I may have gone insane. Well, technically, I suppose I already am. The whole agoraphobia thing probably qualifies me, not to mention the depression and anxiety. But no, this is a different kind of insanity, one that’s not listed in the DSM.
Hmm, you know, insane is not really a diagnosis. I wonder which disorders actually qualify as insanity and which are just issues? I guess that I will never find out because I am now a graduate school drop-out. Mostly, making the decision and acting on it left me feeling relieved and happy. Then yesterday — the first day of the rest of my life — I felt much less happy as I realized that I either have to take writing seriously as an income-generator or get a job.
I said as much to R in the car and he pointed out that if I started taking writing seriously, it would probably stop being fun. I swear, he’s unreasonably wise for a person so young.
So for right now, I’m going to just have fun writing for a while and start worrying about getting a job when the money that we were living on while I went to graduate school starts to run out. And meanwhile I can hope that the money from writing will stretch that time. Today I posted the first chapter of Thought that I’ve written in a month. And yeah, it was fun.