My birthday is in two weeks. Last year, we went to Red Lobster for dinner. Rory impersonated a giraffe and everyone laughed and laughed. It was the first family meal after Dad’s heart attack and I remember reminding myself to treasure the occasion, because we’d only have a few more years worth of them.

I think it was the last family dinner we ever had.

I want so much to talk to my mom today. So much. And I try to imagine it, but all I can picture is how annoyed she would be with me if she knew how hard I was crying.