I woke up this morning at 5:45, turned the coffee on, finished the book I’d been reading the night before, played a couple games of solitaire, then opened Scrivener to start writing.

And was promptly completely overwhelmed by everything I wanted to do this week but hadn’t: taxes, update my bio, finalize the front page of my Choosing Happiness website, add a contact form to that site, write 5000 words of Cici, write a blog post for this site…

If I’d done a little something every day, the way I intended to at the beginning of the week, it wouldn’t be overwhelming at all. Well, okay, maybe it was a little ambitious considering how I have been eking out the word count. But not crazy overwhelming. Unfortunately, that’s not what I did.

Oh, I worked on Monday.  It was a productive day. But on Tuesday I went to Merritt Island to visit my friend Lynda and meet her friend Leigh. We talked books and writing and editing—conversations I could have for days. Alas, we didn’t have that long, but we had a great lunch (at a Brazilian restaurant, Brasas) and I had no regrets.

On Wednesday, I realized that because of a busy weekend (which included a trip to the Mount Dora Arts Festival where I bought this awesome mug), I really needed to take care of some of life’s basics, aka laundry and cleaning and grocery-shopping, and I didn’t get much done beyond that.

a mug with a border collie on it

I loved this mug so much that I just couldn’t resist. Did I need an expensive mug? Absolutely not. Did I need *this* expensive mug? Oh, yes.

On Thursday, I had great intentions. I was pet-sitting for Riker, but I brought my computer, had my writing spot, was all ready to work… but the day was lovely. Absolutely beautiful in a Florida February way. I never looked at my weather app to see what the temperature was, because the temperature was perfect. I wound up sitting outside by the fire pit, hanging out with the dogs, occasionally lackadaisically tossing a ball for Sophie, and reading. Every half hour or so, I’d think, “I should really get my computer,” but then I’d go back to reading my book. Do I have any regrets? Nope.

Often when I have a “wasted” day, I do have regrets. I feel guilty. I reach the end of the day and I think, oh, I should have done so much more. I should have written more words, I should have X, Y, Z. But that dissatisfaction—that feeling of falling short—is the antithesis of happiness. My three personal macronutrients of happiness (inspired by Arthur Brooks, in Build the Life You Want) are Satisfaction, Engagement, and Enjoyment, so when I start feeling dissatisfied with my choices, I’m basically shooting my happiness in the foot. And sure, ideally, that should mean make better choices! But let’s face it — knowing what I should do and doing it are not the same thing.

Yesterday, though, I didn’t let myself feel guilty. I made my choices, I enjoyed my choices, and at the end of the day, I felt like it had been such a nice day, so lovely and peaceful and serene, that it was worth celebrating.

And then this morning rolled around. Ugh. Taxes. Website. Contact form. Bio update. Linktree. Write books, market books, clean out 400 emails from my inbox. ARGH! At first, I took one step back and thought about using one of the handy life tools that I’ve accumulated over the years. Maybe bird-by-bird, Anne Lamott’s advice about taking one word at a time; or maybe a 20/10, from Unf*ck Your Habitat, which is getting stuff done by working for 20 minutes, followed by a 10 minute break. Both are systemic approaches to making overwhelming tasks less overwhelming.

But then I decided to take an even bigger step back. My problem today was not the length of my to-do list: none of it is urgent, none of it is going to change my life if I finish it today. My problem was the feeling of overwhelm. The feeling of life being oppressive and scary. The feeling of failing because I am not productive enough. And that feeling doesn’t get fixed by a checklist.

Instead, I decided to take the WIN — the Walk In Nature — and so Sophie and I hopped in the car and drove to the waterfront.

the waterfront of downtown Sanford

We admired the sailboats (or at least I did), listened to the birds, said hello to our fellow walkers, practiced some of our walking tricks, and breathed in the fresh spring-like air.

 

sunrise over downtown Sanford

We turned into downtown in time to admire the sunrise over the buildings as the fog burned off. I loved the way the line of clouds looked like hills in the background.

 

the art plaza

We — okay, I — admired lots of art along the way, much of it on power boxes. (That’s a big thing here, all those gray utility boxes have colorful artwork on them.) But I took a picture of this sculpture both because I haven’t noticed it before, and because I liked the flowers around it. It’s nice to live in a place with tons of flowers in February.

And after our WIN, when we got home, I took a deep breath and got to work — feeling happy and peaceful and like whatever I finish today will be good enough.

Did my WIN reset my day? I don’t know, really. I can’t tell what the rest of the day will be like. Will I wind up frustrated? Am I going to be annoyed with myself before the day is over? Will a quick glance at the news turn into doomscrolling or a need for despairing escape, either one eating up my hours? I don’t know! Could be.

But my WIN wasn’t about gearing up for productivity — it was an experience complete in itself, a moment to remind me why the rest of it matters. My goal in life isn’t to be the most productive, or the most well-informed, or even to be rich (although that would be nice). My goal is to love the experience of the life I’m living.

And for that goal, the walk in nature is always a WIN.