It’s a grey, gloomy day, perfect for wandering around an office, aimlessly chatting to coworkers and attending unproductive meetings in which everyone wishes it was Friday and no one gets any real work done. It’s been fifteen years since I worked in a real office and most of the time I don’t miss it, but today I could use the co-worker vibe and also the sense that hey, I made it to the office, surely that’s enough productivity for the day? Not that office days were often like that. If I was in a cubicle, I probably wouldn’t even have a chance to notice/appreciate/be depressed by the weather, because my head would be down and I’d be typing away.
But I’m not having a lot of luck focusing today. I’ve really been trying to get back into Grace. I’m so close to the end. I don’t understand why I can’t just polish it off. Seriously, word count wise, it should be a matter of days. Instead I spin my wheels, going back over and over the same scenes, trying to push my way through but instead meandering. I’m not going to put the house on the market until after I finish Grace so really, all my house efforts are pointless. Well, not pointless — just in the wrong order. If I keep this up, I’ll be living in an empty house, pacing through echoing rooms while I try to find a happy ending — even a Happy For Now ending! — for Noah and Grace. Eh, my house is probably too small for the rooms to echo much. But the pacing works.
I’ve been reading about the Snowflake method. I may try it for my next book. I’m yearning to start the next book. I’m not sure which one it will be, whether I’m going to write the next Tassamara book or Fen’s sequel, but I so want to start putting my energy into something new and inspiring, something fun and… oh. Ha. Instant writing revelation. The parts I need to write on Grace now — they’re not fun. They hurt. Noah has to confront what he’s been avoiding for so many years and so does Grace. And it’s cathartic, but hard. And that’s why I’m avoiding it so much. Ugh. All right, I need to just take the plunge and stare at those files for a while and see if I can get my fingers moving. I may have to start posting daily writing updates again for a while, trying to keep myself honest and get myself moving. But for today, staring at the file and refusing to let myself be distracted by bathrooms that need to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be done, old journals that need to be paged through, etc. etc. etc. is probably the place to start. Wish me luck!