I have an impulse today to redesign my blog. This is a bad impulse. This is the kind of impulse that happens when I want to pretend that I’m accomplishing something but really I’m not.
Fortunately, I know exactly why I’m having this impulse. Grace has been going well–in fact, by my standards, remarkably well. I’m not even going to worry about jinxing myself with that statement. I’ve been having fun writing and I’ve been writing fun stuff. What could be better? But I blithely said that I was at 50K words yesterday, because I knew that I was just going to take the next 20K of words, already written for version 2, and add it to my 30K words of version 3. I knew I was going to do that. I was sure I was going to do that.
I was positive!
Yeah, I’m not going to do that.
This chapter–for those who read the last draft–is the one that takes place at the bistro, where Grace and Noah see the kids. It’s fun and entertaining, mostly Grace and Noah flirting with a bunch of Kenzi and the twins just for the fun of it. There’s nothing wrong with it. But I can’t help thinking that it’d be a lot more fun if the stakes were higher. And also, the current version of Grace and Noah have… well, I won’t spoil that. But their dynamics have changed and I can make the chapter better if I rewrite it.
I am such an impractical writer. Ugh. Well, no, I’m an impractical publisher. As a writer, I don’t care about being practical. That’s not the point. But my publisher self really, really wants my writer self to shape up and get it together and stop being so impulsive. Fortunately for Grace, the writer side still wins.
But I am going to ignore the impulse to redesign my blog. Also the impulse to browse stock photos looking at cover images. Also the impulse to take a slight break and write The Wedding Ghosts, aka Rose’s point-of-view on the wedding, which I’ve intended to write for months and months but only after I finish all the other things I have in mind, and of course, that day never comes. Hmm, I wonder if I did something like establishing that I will write that story when The Wedding Guests gets X number of reviews, whether that would be motivating to me? Eh, but I’m not in control of reviews, so that probably won’t help my motivation. I was imagining it the other day, though, and I really do like Toby. Plus, I was thinking that writing it might establish some stuff about Rose’s abilities that would help me with the ending of Grace. Argh! But no, I am not going to follow that impulse, either. I am going to go back to writing Grace. Right now!
Your stream of consciousness writing is so much like my own mental ‘buzz’ — ideas coming one after the other. But each of your thoughts seem to be the gold nugget or heart of another story or chapter. Amazing and fascinating to read… thanks! You gave my brain a good workout right now — I couldn’t remember what your writing style was called — I knew I knew it, but couldn’t bring it to mind so had to research it. Finally, the ‘little grey cells’ coalesced and I knew what you were doing and how I wanted to thank you for it.
I try not to get too stream of consciousness, because it can be tough to follow when my mind’s jumping all over the place. But lately my mind’s jumping all over the place. I’m enjoying it!