I open the door to the outside and Zelda dashes through like I’m rewarding her for being incredibly clever while Gizmo looks at me like, “Really? Must we?” I love having two dogs around — it is decidedly twice as much fun as one.
But that wasn’t what I was going to write about. Obviously, having quit graduate school (or descended into total insanity, depending on how you’d like to define my behavior), I’m trying to figure out what I do next with my life. Or rather, how I earn the money that it will take to pay the mortgage and feed the kid and the dog and keep the car filled with gas…I should stop this list before it freaks me out. But you get the idea — I need to come up with a plan. I think I wrote about my OCD need for plans before: ah, no, it was about structure. Here, read this past post: Structure. So you see, I need some structure, I need some goals, I need to know what the f*** I’m doing. (Look, I’m so repressed that I can’t even swear on my own blog that no one else reads! Gah! Sometimes my crazy drives me…ha, crazy.)
Returning to the point . . . most writer’s blogs strike me as wrong. Not that I’m going to go out and tell them so, but writers seem to mostly write about writing. Admittedly, when that’s what you’re doing, of course it’s what interests you. And yet, readers — who are the people who should be most inclined to visit a writer’s blog — don’t care about writing. In fact, as a reader, I want nothing less than a writerly blog written by my favorite authors. I want to believe that Miles Vorkosigan is real. I don’t want to know how Lois McMaster Bujold thought about acts while she wrote those novels and how she deliberately used short sentences to build tension. I want to believe in the world she created — a blog about writing from her would be like Oz pulling back the curtain and saying eagerly, “yeah, it’s all tricks, you want to try, too?”
Yet, of course, when you’re writing, that’s what you’re thinking about. I’ve written a bunch of posts about the business of self-publishing because that’s what I’m thinking about, but I don’t want to write a blog about self-publishing because that would require me to keep writing about it past the point when it interests me. In fact, having a successful blog in general probably requires consistency — writing about the same topics regularly — and wow, does that sound tedious or what? I really would rather just blog whatever weird thing is in my head at whatever time it’s in there. (They’re remaking the Star Trek with Khan and no movie has ever given me worse nightmares — I’m horrified by the very idea. I won’t be seeing that one. Not that I see any movies, but that one I won’t be wanting to see and not because of all the reasons that leaving the house seems like a bad idea…And yeah, that thought’s because of those weird little ear worms that eat your brain.)
Anyway, I think my conclusion is that I’m not likely to ever have a successful blog. Okay, cross blogging off as one possible future career. Time to go back to writing and not thinking about our eventual starvation . . .